Stop Signs

Sometimes things end that aren't supposed to. Jobs, friendships, relationships with a significant other or family member.

When it has to do with people, though, it is hard to know which direction to turn your thoughts. Inward for reflection or outward for an overview of what the heck happened? And how difficult is it to not assign some blame or all the blame to the other party? Sometimes it really is you. Sometimes it really is the other person and sometimes, it really is a combination. Wanting that clarity is _healthy_. This should be a time for you to grow closer to God and ask Him for clearer vision. Most of the time, it will be a combination. And there is a lot of room for growth there, because you can work on your part of it. Not because it will restore the relationship, not even because it will make you feel better. But because God has asked something of you and when you respond in obedience, meaning being willing to be humble enough to be taught what he has brought to the table, your once confused, angry, hostile, devastating, injured self will be transformed by God's blessing of your obedience.

I read a book on forgiveness by Kay Bruner several months ago and she talks about how our job is to forgive and God's job is to heal. I never thought about it that way- and truly, we ALL know a penetrating wound that still zings when you think of what happened- that CAN only be mended by God. And when God tends to those broken places, the quietness and stillness in ours hearts is close and real AND permanent. Will we have scars? Yes. Will we be able to recall the pain? Yes, but that will fade and other better and good things will come into your life. These situations are not failures, these are momentary afflictions preparing us for eternal glory. 2 Corinthians 4:17

With a little help:

Sometimes people just cannot be who you thought they were or what you wanted them to be. Or maybe YOU can't be what someone else has asked or possibly demanded from you. Maybe it was unfair of you to have expectations of someone else. But is it really some sort of injustice to that other person if you develop a relationship and begin to believe the behavior they present you with (TRUST) and then they morph into someone you no longer even recognize? Maybe the expectations you had were from the person they told you they were when you met, but as they became more of who they really are and time enough passed that there was no possible way to fake it, the two paradigms fit less and less. And the clash between who you thought they were and who they truly are is like dumping out two boxes of puzzle pieces and trying to assemble it into one big puzzle.

When legalism creeps in and devours truth, when silence hides secrets, when there is contempt where you thought there was once love, when a heart has gone deaf, when toxicity clouds reality, for whatever other destructive symptoms.....doors must close.

I have tried everything that is within the realm of my human capacity to do- both healthy AND, yes, unhealthy. Now, I am turning every single ounce of it over to God. My hands are completely off.

Thank you, God!!!!!!!

Here is the book I highly recommend from Kay:
Debunking The Myths of Forgive-and-Forget

Take Care With "Bible Verse" Memes

Trust in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:34

I saw this verse "from" the Psalm when I logged in to Facebook this morning. And it struck me funny. A dissonant chord. First of all, it is uplifting to see people make memes of bible verses and want to share it. It is taking a stand for the gospel, it is showing heart, and it could very well encourage someone. Second, it becomes problematic, even dangerous when it looks so pretty you overlook its accuracy.

Danger is putting it mildly. When we adulterate God's word by changing the order of how it was arranged originally, we risk changing the message. And in Revelation it warns us not to add or subtract from the word of God. Not a suggestion, not a disclaimer. A straight-up warning from God.

We can easily put God's word into colloquial terms that it was never meant to be in; God's word is meant not to just be skimmed or read through but to be studied, understood and applied. That takes effort. When applying God's word it is also very important to note that we must do the best we can to filter what is in the word with the Holy Spirit's discernment and not inject our own meaning into it. Yes, we absolutely should personalize it. But, not change it so much that it becomes a reflection of a god you created and not our Holy Savior.

(I absolutely acknowledge that there are cultural references in the word as it was written, but if you notice, there is no need to give another example than what is already there. The meaning is not veiled or difficult to understand, though at times it may take some digging. What a great example for a relationship. Sometimes, certain situations [read: passages] require more effort for understanding.)

Now, back to the Psalm. The way it is written, it seems to say that there is a trade-off. If you trust in the Lord, then He will give you the desires of your heart. I have heard this adulterated version before and the other thing that comes readily to mind is that the desires of our hearts should flow from our submission and obedience to God- He is actually determining the desires of our hearts. We are so dependent upon Him that our needs and desires are like fruits of the spirit. The fruits can only be there if we are walking with God doing the LEADING. But, this verse makes it sound like we determine what we want and God rewards us for trusting him by giving us those things we admitted we desire.

In the NASB version, this verse isn't even close:

Wait for the LORD and keep His way, And He will exalt you to inherit the land; When the wicked are cut off, you will see it.

What??? I checked the ESV and it is identical to the NASB. Even the KJV is very close to the NASB. I use the website BlueLetterBible.com any time I want to check another translation easily. Biblegateway.com actually has over 150 translations and it wasn't even The Message or The Living Translation.

So, in the NASB version, there is an instruction and a promise and a glimpse of consequences for those not going God's way. "Wait for the Lord" means you are hoping, trusting, expecting from God. (Strong's Commentary clarified this.) Trust is putting it too simply. It then says, "keep His way." This brings me back to leaning completely on, relying utterly on the Lord. There are some days that I wonder if I can put one foot in front of the other were it not for the Holy Spirit carrying me. Keeping His way is a daily, often moment-by-moment struggle. And yet, that portion is completely left out in this meme version.

It talks about inheriting the land. At the time, being a landowner, especially in the "right" places, was a status symbol. So, it is NOT that God will not let people prosper. It says that God will allow you to inherit land and that even implies it will be gifted to you. But the important question is why. Because you waited on the Lord and kept His way. Not wayS. Way. There is only ONE way. Doing acrobatics about what that means? The bible is clear. See John 14:6. The way, the truth, and the life is Christ- learning who He is, letting Him be Lord in your life, pointing always in the direction of His glory and trying not to falter because the effort is even a form of worship.

But, here is the kicker. The desires of our hearts. I really do not want to overuse the verse from Jeremiah that says our hearts are deceitful because they are in the fact that we are born already fallen because of Adam and we tend to go the world's way or our own way over God's way. BUT, the desires of our hearts can be equally God-glorifying if we are truly putting God's word into practice. It just comes back to the fact that this meme does not qualify the desires- it makes it sound like if we want a 20-foot yacht since we desire it, it must be good and highly probably God will provide it. The devil wants us to be ok with messing with God's word. 

I just want to caution you that when someone makes a meme and says it is a bible verse, that may not be the truth. And even if it is, there is a context to take into consideration. I have to remind myself to see it through God's eyes, not to impose my own desired meaning to a text.